My work burnout story

On Oct. 2014 I’m sent to the hospital after I burnt out at work.

I suffer from severe urinary urgency combined with dysuria.

Soon, I’m transferred to a psychiatric hospital.

They double my AD and neuroleptic dosage.

I also have a heavy sleeping medication.

I keep going to the loo every 5-10min.

I am seriously depressed.

Drawing is my only relief. But I don’t have the strength to draw all the time.

I try to bind with inpatients but I am too depressed. I can only accept my parents’ visits. I feel so bad everytime they leave to go home…without me.

After 3 weeks as an impatient, I’m not feeling any better but they send me home. I attempt suicide.

I spend the night on intensive care watch at the hospital. I do not close my eyes even one second despite a high dosage of sleeping medication. I pee in a bedpan every 5-10min.

The following day, my urinary problem is miraculously gone! I feel better physically and psychologically. I’m also out of danger.  I can focus on TV shows, which I couldn’t while I was sick.

At night they give me the same heavy sleeping treatment as the one I had in the psych ward. Strangely I feel very bad when I wake up in the morning, can’t focus on anything pleasant again.

I’m sent back to the asylum. I no longer suffer from urinary urgency and dysuria but I am very very depressed.

A couple days later I run up the stairs of an outdoor emergency staircase, jump and crash down. My right femur and elbow bone are broken. I have an operation in the night.

They put surgical material in my body and I learn I won’t be able to walk for the next 3 months. I am in a wheelchair. I spend two weeks in the hospital.

I leave the hospital to be home-hospitalized. My psychiatrist changes my medication. I’m taken care of 24/7. I can’t go to the medical commode chair alone. I get a dog in December and she gives me so much love. So does my family.

After 3 and a half months of looong immobilization at home and boredom only reading books and watching series with concentration fluctuation and moments of severe depression, I go to rehab!

I can walk again!

Soon I leave the wheelchair and then drop the crutches.

I can walk and exercise again. But in Oct. 2015, my femur accidentally breaks again. I have to get a hip replacement in Paris.

Since then I have been able to stand and walk as if my femur never broke.

On March 2016 the surgical material was removed from my right arm. I am fixed.

But I will never forget…