On Oct. 2014 I’m sent to the hospital after I burnt out at work.
I suffer from severe urinary urgency combined with dysuria.
Soon, I’m transferred to a psychiatric hospital.
They double my AD and neuroleptic dosage.
I also have a heavy sleeping medication.
I keep going to the loo every 5-10min.
I am seriously depressed.
Drawing is my only relief. But I don’t have the strength to draw all the time.
I try to bind with inpatients but I am too depressed. I can only accept my parents’ visits. I feel so bad everytime they leave to go home…without me.
After 3 weeks as an impatient, I’m not feeling any better but they send me home. I attempt suicide.
I spend the night on intensive care watch at the hospital. I do not close my eyes even one second despite a high dosage of sleeping medication. I pee in a bedpan every 5-10min.
The following day, my urinary problem is miraculously gone! I feel better physically and psychologically. I’m also out of danger. I can focus on TV shows, which I couldn’t while I was sick.
At night they give me the same heavy sleeping treatment as the one I had in the psych ward. Strangely I feel very bad when I wake up in the morning, can’t focus on anything pleasant again.
I’m sent back to the asylum. I no longer suffer from urinary urgency and dysuria but I am very very depressed.
A couple days later I run up the stairs of an outdoor emergency staircase, jump and crash down. My right femur and elbow bone are broken. I have an operation in the night.
They put surgical material in my body and I learn I won’t be able to walk for the next 3 months. I am in a wheelchair. I spend two weeks in the hospital.
I leave the hospital to be home-hospitalized. My psychiatrist changes my medication. I’m taken care of 24/7. I can’t go to the medical commode chair alone. I get a dog in December and she gives me so much love. So does my family.
After 3 and a half months of looong immobilization at home and boredom only reading books and watching series with concentration fluctuation and moments of severe depression, I go to rehab!
I can walk again!
Soon I leave the wheelchair and then drop the crutches.
I can walk and exercise again. But in Oct. 2015, my femur accidentally breaks again. I have to get a hip replacement in Paris.
Since then I have been able to stand and walk as if my femur never broke.
On March 2016 the surgical material was removed from my right arm. I am fixed.
But I will never forget…