OOTD Asia inspired

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Old drawing from high school

A day with the best friend

Although today was a rainy day, I had a good time with my gay best friend. Our relationship is unexplanable. We are more like bros. Anyway. We had lunch at an Asian restaurant and ate Japanese food (yum yum).

I showed him my favourite goth shop and what surprises me is that when the red-haired punk goth tattooed seller asked me why I had a crutch I spontaneously avowed I did a suicide attempt. I mean, I’ve known her for like 5 years, but I don’t come often to her shop (the clothes are expensive) and we only shared small talks. Maybe the fact that she’s goth-punk makes me believe she’s open-minded. I am sure she is.

Sorry, no picture of my face but I can assure you I smile on this photograph.

Medieval goth

Alternative fashion helps me keep in good moods. Today I dressed medieval goth.

Serenity

I need to feel and believe that everything’s ok. That nothing wrong is gonna happen again any time soon. I need serenity and confidence in the future.

Purchase of the day

I bought this beautiful light grey frame to frame one of the pastel oil drawings I made while I was hospitalized. I’m a bit disappointed that the paper is a bit creased, which shows a lot on the picture.

Believing the nightmare is over

Sometimes I have a hard time believing the past four months nightmare is over. Yet I HAVE to if I want to have a normal, even pleasant life again. I have to shush the little voice that says: You were born to suffer. I WAS NOT. I have the right to be happy now.

I like to look pretty again

One of the clues that I am feeling better is that I’ve started dressing accordingly to my favourite alternative styles again: lolita, Harajuku style etc.

I won’t show you my face as I want to remain anonymous but I can tell you I smile on each of these following pictures.

Living again after a life interrupted

This morning my moods were a bit low because I was home alone and the dog barking outside would not want to get in the house again. But now my father is home and the dog is sleeping near the fire and I’m feeling more peaceful. I run a bit the exercise bike and lifted dumbells.

I lost a few extra-pounds without starving myself or overexercising. I need to put into my mind that everything’s OK now.

Pets are a blessing

While I was still in a wheelchair after my latest suicide attempt, my parents offered me an adorable female dog that I called Jasmine. She’s hyper mad but also very affectionate. She makes me feel less lonely when nobody’s home. I love it when she licks my face and I kiss her head or back. She’s my furbaby! ❤