1000 likes; Thank you!

likeable-blog-1000-2x I apologize to those who follow me for the lack of posts these last weeks. I have been busy with trying to find a new job that fits both my abilities and disabilities. I also have made another step towards independence since I will soon have my own flat. I need to see my physiotherapist on a regular basis due to my right groin pains but I won’t complain much about it bc the treatment is massages and they are quite pleasant. 🙂

Those who want may also follow me on

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Hiatus

output_xulegbgifI know, it’s been a while, almost one month. What’s happened?

Well, my friend with the brain tumor had to be hospitalized because of her new treatment. She texted me she was out and better a few days ago. Phew. I was really scared.

My former teacher on Facebook doesn’t want to answer any of my private messages or comments anymore. I felt sad, I cried, I felt a heavy weight on my chest…no explanation. I did all I could to reach out to her, but it’s no longer up to me. I have to accept the situation.

I have started taking singing lessons! I did so when I was 15, but I decided I had to train and practise again with someone qualified, and she genuinely thinks I have some potential.

I’m seing Mr Handsome (my physiotherapist) for massages after suffering from groin and back pain for months.

I have another job in sight, part time, other workplace.

In other words, life goes on!

Lucky

I’m stuck at home with the dog. It’s hard for me to go out except to take her for a walk because I feel like I’m not walking out alone (which is actually the case – I have my dog with me).

Those dreams haunt me every night: I’m a college student but I fail at everything and my schoolmates are harsh with me. In real life, I obtained my Degrees. Or I’m at work and I’m overwhelmed by the red tape. In real life I’m still on sick leave.

I’ve had panic attacks again.

And also, I keep thinking about “my downfall”. What if I had remained disabled? What if I was very badly handicaped? I mean not only being unable to walk, but even worse!

I have always said my life was shitty, at least since I was 12, but nowaday I surprise myself thinking – and believing! – that I am so lucky.

My back hurts once in a while and my right groin is painful when I cross my legs or lifts my right leg to get in the car. But I’m fine. Really. I’m lucky.

Busy not being busy

Here I am home alone again on sick leave.

Work has been tough, mainly because of workplace relationships which I will not go into detail.

So I keep myself busy not being busy. I play with and walk the dog, surf the WWW 90% of the time, watch Netflix and do a little artwork.

This is my first painting on canvas in years. I am not really good at painting on canvas but here we go.

mar canvas (1)

LGBTQ+ post (bigots look away)

collage

Stef Sanjati is a twenty-something Canadian Youtuber who addresses the topic of transgender issues as a transwoman herself. She also updates her transitioning process for her viewers and recently had a FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery).

I have been following Stef for quite a while on various social media : Instagram, Youtube, Twitter…and her physical – and psychological – transformation thanks to estrogen prescriptions, testosterone blockers and the latter which I already talked about: Facial Feminization Surgery. She insists on the fact that FFS is not a whim and has nothing to do with cosmetic surgery. In fact, its aim is to treat her gender dysphoria, a destructive feeling that what she sees in the mirror is not who she really is: that is, a woman.

Moved by her story and fascinated by this brilliant make-up artist I started making fan art, from the day Stef started T-blockers and had blue and purple hair, through her transitioning when she dyed her hair a green and blonde ombre and finally set up for Californian blonde, always keeping her natural white streak…white. What you need to also know about Stef is that she has Waardenburg Syndrom, which manifests the following way:

  • Very pale or brilliantly blue eyes, eyes of two different colors (complete heterochromia), or eyes with one iris having two different colours (sectoral heterochromia)
  • A forelock of white hair (poliosis), or premature graying of the hair
  • Appearance of wide-set eyes due to a prominent, broad nasal root (dystopia canthorum)—particularly associated with Type I) also known as telecanthus
  • Moderate to profound hearing loss (higher frequency associated with Type II);
  • A low hairline and eyebrows that meet in the middle (synophrys)
  • Patches of white skin pigmentation, in some cases (…)

[Source: http://www.wikipedia.org]

She is ok with it and even jokes about her “cute alien face”.

I thought her peculiar features (even after FFS, which didn’t dramatically change her appearance) were interesting to study for drawing.

I was honored to get “likes” from her on the pictures of her I posted on my Instagram account. Other artists have made her their muse and have made extraordinary beautiful artwork inspired by Stef.

This post features a sample of the portraits I made of Stef, the latest one including her very cool and understanding parents.

I am not going to stop here and while Stef continues to stand for who she is and transition I will try to improve my drawing skills using her awesome physical features as an inspiration as well as getting more and more educated about transgenderism in a world where prejudice against LGBTQ people are still very stigmatizing.

I wish Stef all the very best in her life and gives her a big thumb up for being a great advocate of the trans community as well as – I am sure of it – saving miserable trans kids’ lives who consider committing suicide because of the lack of acceptance, mockery and hatred towards them.

I hope I too have opened some people’s minds through my post.