Busy not being busy

Here I am home alone again on sick leave.

Work has been tough, mainly because of workplace relationships which I will not go into detail.

So I keep myself busy not being busy. I play with and walk the dog, surf the WWW 90% of the time, watch Netflix and do a little artwork.

This is my first painting on canvas in years. I am not really good at painting on canvas but here we go.

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Health news

After 2 years under the exact same medication, which seemed to work quite well on me, I had to discuss the dosage with my shrink because it makes me drowsy and I get up quite late every morning. ATM I’m only working on the afternoons so it’s ok, but we have to think long term. I may have to start work in the morning in months, probably not as far in time as I had hoped.

Following my shrink’s instructions, I lowered the dosage of Seroquel from 300 to 150. Tercian drops used to be 30, I now take 27.

I noticed I have had withdrawal symptoms since then and it’s not cool when you’re trying to do your best at work. I mailed my shrink, he told me to hold the decrease in dosage until I meet him early in February.

For now, I am unable to tell if I will actually be able to start work in the morning again one day. But I won’t worry over it, because I put my health first.

Update

I haven’t read a novel in weeks (actually I’ve been reading the same book about laicity, and how to apply it in the French society, schools and workplaces without offending religious people – very interesting).

I haven’t drawn anything in a few days and I need practising again or my ability will  remain unimproved.

Work is going fine. But I can’t figure myself starting work early in the morning yet, so I need my medically required part-time to be carried forward for at least six more months.

Regarding my mental health, it’s fine. I haven’t really been depressed or anxious in quite a long time, except when thinking about people who seem to have let me down, but c’est la vie.

Idleness is no good

There’s been quite a lot of anxiety in my life these days. I can’t tell exactly why. Strangely (and fortunately), it is not about work; on the contrary, I’m glad to have something to do in the afternoon other than spending my time in front of a computer.

On a positive side, I have continued to doodle for my personal satisfaction and welfare.

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What to wear at work when you’ve an alt. style?

Let’s be honest, I can’t dress Goth or head-to-toe Lolita on my workplace.

I started my first working days with classic clothes, with a very little touch of vintage:

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Vintage/modest rockabilly works perfectly well in an office. I play with hairbands and headbows.

collage

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Today I tried a casual lolita look. The frills are ok when they are only at the top or the bottom of the outfit.

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I like the challenge of keeping part of my style but fitting in a non-creative workplace.

I worked again!

After almost 2 yearDSCN6566s of sick leave which reason I explain here I eventually helped as a volunteer at my parents workplace!

It was easy: filling administrative papers with the help of my mum but it helped me feel useful, busy and no more lonely.

Maybe I worked no more than an hour but it was a good kick start!