First of all, I will begin this post by telling everyone that I am not a “real” Goth, because I don’t really like the music and according to many Goths I talked to, music and the scene are mainly what make you Goth. That being said, I could be considered as a “Nu goth“, someone who dresses gothy but doesn’t listen to the music.
Yes I like corsets, lace, velvet, black velvet, burgundy velvet, spikes, skulls; I also like the comic character “Nemi”, horror films and Halloween. I know Evanescence and Within Temptation are not Goth bands but metal bands, I read enough of The Goth Bible to know that Christian Death, Siousie Sioux, Bauhaus…are Goth bands, but I don’t like their music and I won’t force myself into listening to it to feel “Goth enough”.
That being said, let’s go back to my title: How Goth can be a positive thing? Indeed, too many people believe that Goth subculture is about self harm, depression and suicide, Death worship or worse, Devil worship.
I’ve been through hell, really: I’ve been suffering from depression, anxiety, social phobia, bullying, possibly borderline personality disorder, spent time in a psych ward, tried to kill myself several times.
But this has NEVER had to do with my involvement in the Goth subculture; instead, wearing dark clothes with skulls and spikes helped me express my pain in another way than self-harming. Watching horror movies was a way to increase adrenaline without putting myself in danger. Nemi is very funny, in a sarcastic way, I had a good time reading the comic books. Halloween fills me with joy and energy, I decorate the house, dress up to welcome the trick or treaters at my door…
When I started recovering after being stuck in a wheelchair due to a 2-storey fall, the first thing I wanted to do was to put on my black and red Queen of Darkness long skirt, a black velvet top and get my streaks dyed red again.
I HAVE NEVER worshipped any kind of evil entity; I don’t belong to a religion, but I believe in the Divine, a universal energy of Light and unconditional love.
To me, Goth is a way to express my darker creativity without harming myself or anyone else.