Old projects

It’s a bit hard for me to focus on new projects ATM bc I have had dark times. Yesterday I even gave a tantrum in my shrink’s practise about my uncertain future, life, expectations… I used to have a “regular job”, to be “a normal person” or at least to fake it and go to work, do my job, go home. But I was rejected / criticized about the consequences of my unwanted disability. So yeah I’m still on sick leave. But I’m not the kind of person who enjoy staying at home being a couch potato. It’s just that it’s hard for me to even pass my door. Social phobia…and also I realized something very triggering with the help of my shrink: I am scared of my own self. Since my brain once commanded me to jump off the top of a building, now it is “scared” of my own reactions. I don’t plan to hurt myself at all. But my brain believes I will endanger myself, so that’s why it tells me it is safer to stay at home.

For now I am finishing old projects I started long ago like this unicorn.

june unicorn

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