After 2 years under the exact same medication, which seemed to work quite well on me, I had to discuss the dosage with my shrink because it makes me drowsy and I get up quite late every morning. ATM I’m only working on the afternoons so it’s ok, but we have to think long term. I may have to start work in the morning in months, probably not as far in time as I had hoped.
Following my shrink’s instructions, I lowered the dosage of Seroquel from 300 to 150. Tercian drops used to be 30, I now take 27.
I noticed I have had withdrawal symptoms since then and it’s not cool when you’re trying to do your best at work. I mailed my shrink, he told me to hold the decrease in dosage until I meet him early in February.
For now, I am unable to tell if I will actually be able to start work in the morning again one day. But I won’t worry over it, because I put my health first.
The latest blood test I took shows I have no anemia, which is great, but my white cells are low. The doctor said this must be induced by Tercian and Xeroquel, the two meds I take before sleeping. I must rediscuss the treatment with my psychiatrist and I’m a bit anxious because my treatment makes me feel just fine the way it is and I fear any alteration in it.
For now, my white cells are going to be checked regularily and if they don’t drop much, I may keep following the exact same treatment.
My psychological and emotional state fluctuates for no apparent reason . One day I am anxious and / or depressed from the morning onward; the following day goes well, oh it’s not heavens, but it ‘s okay. (Apparently) nothing special happened in the meantime. Today I enjoyed reading my favorite monthly magazine, this book on street art borrowed from the library, while waiting for the bus and while traveling in it. Drinking a cup of coffee in a diner. Finding a little card for my medievalist to write her on the pretext of wishing her a happy Halloween. And feeling hopeful for a while: A part-time job may be waiting for me.
I sometimes think : self- persuasion , positive thinking , I need to dig into it. As I’ve said before it was not possible in the past, My mind was too broken , too sticky. But the little antipsychotic might have done its job. And I have done mine . I think I need to continue taking this big white pill and repeat positive sentences at bedtime.