Brit lady at our house

So glad to practise my English with my mum’s lovely long term British penfriend!

Pity she only stays for a week.

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Why hast thou forsaken me?

I kept in touch with a teacher who has always meant a lot to me but these last weeks – or months? – she has been ignoring me on social media, never answering my PM, or saying she was busy but still posting tons of stuff on her page and answering to her OTHER friends.

Yesterday night I felt the need to draw something out of this frustratring and saddening situation and I don’t know if she saw it and read it but she hasn’t answered yet.

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Going out, meetin friends, and drawing

After meeting my BFF a few days ago, yesterday I went out with ma fée and her boyfriend.

When we don’t use her name to keep her anonymous we use her nickname ma fée (my fairy) because she does look like a pixie creature.

We walked my dog, went to the town center, ate in an Asian restaurant, walked in my hometown and took pics, went back to my house to chat around a coffee. A pleasant time it was. Alas they live very far and only come on holiday in my region every 2 years. Our relationship will continue on the world wide web as usual.

Apart from that, I am quite proud of these 2 sketches made WITHOUT A BLUEPRINT:

Good news

After agonizing about my friend’s health whilst not getting any contact with her, I eventually managed to join her on the phone yesterday. She’s entered a new medical protocol that seems to have been working so far, so fingers crossed.

As for me I’m getting in touch with friends again: my BFF and I met in my hometown a few days ago and on thursday a girl friend I met like 10 years ago on the WWW who I haven’t seen for a while is coming with her boyfriend.

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A big fear and one year older

Today’s my birthday. I’m getting along with the fact that I’m over 30 and slowly, but surely, going on my 40s (although still in my early 30s).

Yesterday night my dog Jasmine swallowed toad venom. She vomitted and we were panicky. We called the vet who told us to give her a bath, wash her mouth with the shower head and to give her paraffin wax. Now we didn’t not have paraffin wax. it was 11 pm and no pharmacy was open. We called a vet center on night care to ask if they were willing to sell us paraffin for our dog. The vet on the phone was very kind and said that olive oil would work equally. Thanks God we had that! Jasmine is perfectly fine! Phew!

Back to my Bday; you know what was my best present? The friend/former teach of mine who I thought rejected me by not answering my text messages on FB wrote to wish me a happy Bday and explained she was just trying to spend fewer time on social media. Phew!

I think it’s going to be a good day.

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Worries

It’s been 4 days since I haven’t been able to join my ill friend by phone or e-mail.

I can be the embodiment of anxiety when it comes to serious illness.

On the other hand, I don’t want her or her family to feel harrassed.

I dunno how I am going to handle this on the long term. She doesn’t want to give me her mobile number as she knows I can be harrassing with the ones I love.

But it would be less intrusive if I sent a sms from time to time and she answered “I’m OK”.

Update

I keep losing weight. It’s not too bad ATM but I must stop this loss and manage to at least maintain. I have lost my apetite; but getting sick won’t help her heal. I would give my life for hers but it’s not the way it works. On the contrary, I must – and I promised her to – take care of myself and cling to life, just like she too, promised me to.

I dressed alternative/personal style though I wasn’t willing to at first. But taking care of me starts with taking care of my appearance. I even put some make up.

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I love her so much, I don’t want to lose her.

Why her?

I just learned yesterday that one of my best friends has cancer.

I took the taxi right after I heard the news to meet her (1h30 trip) , could only stay 30 mn before I went back home in a taxi as well, thus spending 600 euros in a day. For a 30 mn meeting. I regret nothing. She looked so fragile, I was so sad, I hugged her and told her to take all the light she needs from me.

I made this for her:

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OOTD + news

DSCN8647Today I have another appointement with Mr Handsome. I’m getting less excited/edgy/nervous/crazy with time. It’s becoming more of a deep friendly feeling for him within my heart and less of a romantic and sexual attraction. It’s safer this way. I’m writing my 3rd book (in French) although my 2 first ones were never published. I guess it is more like a therapy than a way of becoming a promising, well-known writer.