My emotional life

A drawing I sent him

I called M. Handsome (this is the name I will call my physiotherapist now) yesterday because I missed him too much. I know nothing can or will happen between us and anyway, honestly, I don’t know how I would deal with a love relationship. Never. Been. In. One. Still  a virgin.

I make people stand on a piedestal and I cherish them. Sometimes I hug them. It never goes further (it nearly did once with a girl when we were 16-17). I would like to grow up. Stop being a childlike woman. Experience sex?

He asked me to send him snail mail to express what I feel. Even though he knows it already I can’t write “I love you” because he’s a faithful husband and father of 3. So I kept my words respectful of his marital status and honestly, I would be happy if we could just be friends (even though, OK, I’d like to lose my virginity to him). Love can be so complicated. Sigh.


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